dancing in the rain

you say you want to be aware well pay attention i am here turned to you and smiled interrupted your conversation chased you around the block shared your story surprising you served you dinner took you to a new place when you were lost where you needed to be cried with you that difficult conversation the admiration of the one that beholds you and introduced you listen stop trying to be aware of me i pay attention to you always sit with that

i finally typed (and decided to share) what was on my heart the first three months back in the states.  i wrote this while on our re-entry retreat in Chicago in November 2013. some of these sentiments no longer exist, while new ones arise. i am in a much better place now than three months ago, yet i remain in transition and continue discovering what that means as time passes. God, I hope you know how grateful I am.  Grateful for where I have been, the people I met, the ones I loved, the ones that loved me, the projects I was a part of, and the countless lessons I have learned. Thank you for these gifts.  But I am also feeling confused . . .  How can I feel such longing, emptiness, and dissatisfaction, when I have experienced something so beautiful and powerful?  How come I can not feel you as strongly and see you so evidently in my daily life anymore? And tired . . . How come I wake up with no energy some mornings?  How c...

“Every moment and every event of everyman's life on earth plants something in his soul. For just as the wind carries thousands of winged seeds, so each moment brings with it germs of spiritual vitality that come to rest imperceptibly in the minds and wills of men.” Thomas Merton @San Felipe with some of my fav girls @Casa Don Bosco with some of the Salesian Volunteers and kids @Monica´s house: the moment we told Ty that iguanas are NOT sacred in Ecuador  #LOLS @Sinai retreat house learning about the "energy" #magicisnotfunifeverybdyknowsit @refuerzo with JCU and my kids with Luis and Sebastian the kids playing with the Uno cards my mom brought Alida, one of my fav, playing uno (don´t tell anyone) @Corpus Christi: the moment of ¡ derrumbe! on Victor with the dynamic duo of youth group @Elisa´s house before naptime #napsaren´tjustforkids @Sylvias´s house practicing for the hora loca with the beautifu...

This is Amy, my friend Eli’s daughter. When I arrived to Ecuador she was six months old and sassy. It was love at first sight. Her adorableness and her attitude always make me smile, even when she’s getting in trouble and I should keep a straight face. It’s hard not to smile in her presence. In the past ten months she has done all of the “firsts”; first steps, first words, first dance moves, first time holding a spoon, etc.  These firsts are family treasures that I have been privileged of witnessing and celebrating.   Lately she has fallen in love with laughter. She laughs at any chance she gets. So much so that when she is playing with her ball and at the dinner table we all laugh at one of her dad’s jokes, she quickly turns around and starts laughing out loud. I am sure she has no idea of what we laughed about and even if she were paying attention, by nature of being one year old, would not get the joke.  Yet she laughs just to participate in the joy of the r...

sunset over the guayas river - the bridge to Duran  I have now arrived to month ten of my volunteer year. These last three months have been the heaviest of my experience due to the climate and politics of the environment I live in. But I choose not to let that define these months entirely for there have been many wonderful memories made. Birthdays were celebrated, meals were cooked with neighbors, sillyness abounded in neighborhood visits, and we recently retreated in Manabi with the Rostro community. Life in its fullness includes good and bad, darkness and light, pain and joy, " un poco de todo " (a little of everything) as one of our neighbors Elisa likes to say. She also likes to say HAHA out loud after anything remotely funny or sarcastic, like this face her daughter Yendri painted for me:    So I decided I would share the HAHA moments, moments of joy, laughter and fun,  that have enlivened me these past months. getting our nails done! Suleika...

 "The nature of rain is the same, but it makes thorns grow in the marshes and flowers in the gardens."  Anthony de Mello Mount Sinai during th e verano (summer) dry season:  Mount Sinai during el invierno (winter) rainy season: " La lluvia nos trae problemas "  (the rain brings us problems), a neighbor tells me as we listen to the rain fall on the tin roof of her cane home. Her perspective is shaped by the recent flooding she has experienced. The rain has never caused me anxiety. In fact, I have always loved the sound of rain, the scent of the asphalt after it rains, and the bright colors of the strawberry fields in Santa Maria, California during the rainiy season. The local community has built homes on fertile land for agriculture that flourishes with lakes, rivers and trees during the rainy season. The problem is not the rain itself, but the homes that are not built to resist it. My optimism is shaped by my positive experien...

Feb 10-12 were three days of crazy fun. The days before Ash Wednesday Ecuas celebrate their version of Carnaval by throwing whatever they can find at each other. This holiday (yes, they get two work days off for this) is essentially a nation wide water fight where you play at your own risk or stay indoors.  This is what happens at the end of carnaval: So what brings you to the floor, and potentially injured, during caranaval?  Allow me to present the top ten carnaval guidelines. #1. A water device or weapon is a must. Or you will be destroyed. #2. Painting people´s faces against their will is a primary tactic of the games. #3. Friends must turn on each other to survive.  #4. Wrestling moves are allowed by one or both parties.  #5. Guards make excellent allies.  #6. There are no time-outs, not even to take a picture.  #7. People will attack from behind.    #8. Bannanas will not be consumed, they will...